Long Time Long Reflections

Time to blog. Indeed so.
Well, on Tuesday, Mom had urgent things to do at work, so I was left at home alone.
I went out alone, took a bus down to Bras Basah to get my comp cards and walked around aimlessly.

Aimlessly. I hate walking aimlessly. It feels like you have no sense of direction, no goals, nothing in mind. And that’s when you start thinking about silly things. Like how I have been surfing friendster during my free time, and how much I admire my friends, those whom I can see happiness beaming from both parties’ eyes. Love, its love you see. Yeah, maybe also because I’m kind of influenced by the 9pm show? I don’t know. But sometimes, I can’t help being envious of them, maybe because, I haven’t found someone whom I love very much and who loves me too?

Yes I’m enjoying singlehood, every moment of it, because I managed to catch up with many of my friends, including those from secondary school. I’m happy definitely. Like today, I just met up with Tecktee, laughing about our old days in red cross, about Talentime, about trainings, about Politics, and many other things, about NUS, about his faculty, about mine, the 4:1 ratio, and about how I haven’t found any suitable person when its a ratio that’s pretty advantageous to me. Oh well.

Maybe it all boils down to… me being picky? I don’t think its wrong to be picky. After all, why compromise? Perfectionist I am, I guess I still have the time to be picky now. I can’t live with someone if I found some major flaw. And yeah you know, a leopard never changes its spots. So, no point going back with someone of the past as well. Unless, you never exactly started. There was never something serious, in the first place. Ah, that’s another thing altogether.

So Tcube asks me, do I have someone in mind? I asked myself, do I? I thought about it, crushes aside, nope, I can safely say I haven’t gone MAD about someone, like “DIE DIE must have him” kind of thinking. Yeah, still pretty much sane, I hope. Maybe, currently I do have someone well, in consideration. I guess time does show a lot of things, maybe that’s why Jackson makes sense when he says “That’s why, I don’t want to get into a relationship so fast, because you need to know the person really well to stay together for a longer period.” I agree too. Like today, I was telling Tcube, people always get happy when they past the honeymoon period. But in fact this honeymoon period is actually longer than it actually seems, nope not six months. One year? Yes, maybe, when one starts to get ‘bored’ of the other, if you manage to get pass this, yes congrats, but actually, the main one is the three years stage, because that’s when you really get to know the person well, like really well. It’s true, you need 3 years to know a person really well. So Tcube agrees and says, yeah if you pass that stage, most of the time, you end up in marriage. Which, I have no idea, anyone who’s married can let me know your thoughts btw. Lol.

So anyway, it all boils down to… time. Isn’t it? It’s good if you found the right one, but how would you know who the right one is? And not many of us have 3 years to spare. Maybe I do, but when I hit 25, do I still have 3 years to spare to know someone well? I don’t know. Ah, heck it. Maybe when I hit that, I will blog about that? Lol, if I still have a blog then.

Yeah, walking around alone makes me think alot. About what I want to do, actually come to think of it, even if I don’t get my accountancy deg, I am still very much happy with my Ecommerce. Cos, the Digital Life just said 15,000 IT Jobs will be created by 2015, and very much, my dream in banking – Ecommerce managers. Haha. So I guess, maybe it no longer matters to me, I am very much happy in Computing too. I can survive if I want to.

And in the end, reality bites. Results are coming out on Saturday. Let’s just say, I’m not feeling anything yet, or maybe, I really don’t know how I will fare. Plus what’s done, done. So it doesnt matter anymore. If I did well, yay. If I didn’t… I guess, I got more to reflect about. Till then.

This weekend, busy busy. 2 jobs. And I have been given yet another chance at the next IT Show, let’s just hope I get through this time round. Ah *prays*. Going down to Far East to get my attire ready for Monday’s casting. Wish me luck. I must get in this time. Everything’s on my side, Portfolio, Comp Cards, Photos, Height. I just need luck now. Plus, my dad gave the go-ahead for this major competition, if I get in for the audition. Hence the training now, need major weight-losing before the audition.

Few years ago, I used to post Thank You Notes to my friends. And now I’m doing it again, to one of my best pals who have been there for me all the time, and one who’s been supporting me with her shout-outs now and then, and last but not least, one who has been helping me to get things ready for the castings. Thanks Jing, thanks for listening to my rants, thanks for listening to me talk about ColdPants, and about things I guess I will never tell anyone else. Thanks for being my shoulder to lean on when I’m so sick and tired of everything. Thanks. As I pen down this, I really feel I owe her alot for being who I am today, for teaching me how to pick myself up from a fall, for believing in me when no one else does. Thank you Jing. Personally, I feel Thank Yous never enough to say how grateful I am to you when things seem to fall on my part of the world. Thank you. The next, I want to thank is Xiao Ning, who’s there even though she’s so faraway from me, for shouting out to me now and then with her notes, for telling me she’s there if anything goes wrong, to tell me she’s all ready to listen. Thank you Ning. :) Thank you Zh as well, for taking all the endless rants. For helping me get ready my portfolio and comp cards. Thank you. You are a friend, whom I know will be there anytime when I need you. How can I ever forget my brother, thank you ;) And to everyone else too, thanks in one way or another.

So, I promised Tcube we will be meeting up more often than before, maybe 1 week once? I don’t know yet, its nice talking to an old friend. :) Plus, people like me and him super free and slack. Can’t wait for orientation to start. I’m getting all tired from ranting and thinking. I’m going to sleep. There’s still Orchard to find the attire tomorrow. And FF.


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